bucket list, Mental Health, mental illness

Coming Down from Concert Elation

2018-0216 bw post runThursday night I went to the Moon Taxi concert and it was the most fun I’ve had in a long time. The last time I had that much fun was in Branson with family, riding an enormous ferris wheel and driving go karts for the first time – I was the slowest one and I had a blast. Prior to that, the last time I remember having such a great time was summer of 2016 at a concert.

I wanted to go to this recent concert because of that. When I wrote my annual newsletter for 2017, I looked back at 2016’s as a template. I remembered what an amazing night it had been at that concert and was determined to find a show (or several) to re-create my bliss. I fell in love with this band – I listened obsessively on YouTube and pre-ordered their album. When it was finally released in January, I was even more madly in love than before, and bought a ticket to the concert with money I’d saved for that reason from a Christmas gift. (I wrote about their new album when it first came out, right here!)

The concert was truly awesome. My brother and a friend came along, which was nice, because though I was the only one of the three of us who was dancing (or moving whatsoever – my friend actually held up the wall after working 10 hours that day and enjoyed the music standing completely still), I didn’t have to drive myself. I hate driving downtown with a passion, and I was pleased that I didn’t have to. I let inhibitions go more and more as the night went on. I stopped looking around to see if anyone else in the room was dancing. I danced, I had a blast. I almost cried at one point, the song was so perfect. It was a wonderful experience.

The next day, I woke up unintentionally with less than 5 hours of sleep. I always have a hard time sleeping in, which is why I try not to go to bed very late often. I was coming down from the “high” of the night before, and I crashed. This is a very, very common occurrence for me when I do intensely fun things. This has happened my entire life, and in hindsight I recognize this sign of the bipolar disorder I was unaware of as a teenager.

I ended up lying on the couch, covered in blankets, almost-crying, and then napping. When I woke up, I knew something had to change. And I had to run my Couch to 5K that day – there were only two days left in the week, and I had two more runs left for the week. Were it not for that, I probably would not have left the couch. I certainly wouldn’t have ran! (more about me running found here!)

I did. It was hard to get up, hard to get dressed to go, and running was exhausting and hard itself. I got home after the 32-ish minutes, and stretched my sore muscles. The post-run stretching is my favorite part, because I reflect. I feel good physically and emotionally: I DID IT.

I took a selfie, which I have been doing after each C25K experience, and captioned about how getting up and running had made me feel better after a low point. I posted it online, including on Facebook for the first time and got an outpouring of love and support.

Coming down from the concert was a bumpy experience, but I will keep going to shows. I truly feel that the good feeling was worth it. And with effort, I was able to bounce back rather quickly – the same day. I am happy and grateful and proud of myself: absolutely worth it.

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