I’ve been doing things I enjoy, and it’s been amazing. I have learned something about myself in the meanwhile.
When I went to the Moon Taxi concert and then the roller derby bout, I looked around and realized how little I was keeping my cool. I was freaking out with excitement, and it was visible! Around me, everyone was calm and collected. I hardly saw anyone smiling. I, on the other hand, was grinning from ear to ear. I couldn’t help it. Well, I could. And I did, a few times. But then I realized – why bother?
I was worried about what others were thinking about me. I do that a lot. I recently worried about the horn on my car. I got a new car, and I wanted to test the horn so I knew, in case of emergency, how hard to press and where exactly. I put in so much thought about when to try the horn: Not in my driveway, I’d scare or annoy the neighbors. Not at an empty stop sign, people would worry from their living room windows. Definitely not in front of other cars, drivers would get angry.
At the concert, I danced, while my friend held up the wall. At the roller derby bout, I grinned from the edge of my seat and told my friend, “I’m trying to keep my cool.”
She said, “Why? Never keep cool!”
She was right. Why does it matter what the people around me are doing? They might not be as excited as me, or show it the way I do if they are. Who cares?! I was ecstatic, and my natural reaction to that feeling is to grin.
So I did.
Last night, I went by myself to see a band in a tiny music hall. When I got there, well into the opening act, almost everyone was sitting at the tables or bar lining the walls. I kept creeping more and more forward until I was on the dance floor. Only one other person was on the dance floor. He did not give a single care about what anyone thought of him – it was obvious. He danced and grooved to the music all alone.
I wasn’t feeling the opening act so much, but when the band I was there to see came on, I was grinning and grooving. I had an amazing time. I was truly inspired. They seemed absolutely fearless. They were following their dreams and they were amazing musicians and performers!
I came to a realization. Life is too short to “be cool”. Life is way too short to care what people think about me and not live my life because of it. If I’m happy, people will know by looking at me, and that is okay. It’s okay to be happy and excited and have the most fun in the room. Actually, that sounds pretty great.