Mental Health, mental illness

Sensory Overload Leads to Panic Attack

It started as a great day. I was thinking about my bucket list, summer vacation, and my upcoming birthday. I told J that if he wanted to get me something, it should be an event, not a tangible item. It reminded me about making food. I love hamburgers, they are one of my favorite foods.… Continue reading Sensory Overload Leads to Panic Attack

Mental Health, mental illness

Back on the Horse

After my accident Wednesday, I was pumped up on adrenaline. I drove home from the service shop and was fine. Okay, I guess. I wanted to get home, and I did. My mom was surprised that I drove so soon. “Didn’t turning around hurt your neck?” No, but again: Adrenaline. That night, I had decided… Continue reading Back on the Horse

Marriage, Mental Health

Adventures in Lawn Care

I used to love mowing the lawn. At least, I remember telling people that. It's possible that I loved bragging to my entitled friends about how I did manual labor that also counted as exercise. I'm not certain why I felt why that was brag-worthy, but that was definitely my MO. I also used to… Continue reading Adventures in Lawn Care

Mental Health

My Bra Shopping Ordeal

Today, I went bra shopping. I have wanted new bras since last November, at least. My only bras were too small (but still relatively comfy due to being very stretched out) and since then all have developed holes in the band and/or broken underwires. I had one intact bra, but it was covered in lace… Continue reading My Bra Shopping Ordeal

mental illness

The Driving Force of My Independence

A few years ago, I totaled my first car that I’d had for a decade in an accident deemed entirely my fault. For the two years following, my husband was self-employed and we shared his Mercury, which was titled in both of our names anyway for a credit-rebuilding program at the dealership. He took me… Continue reading The Driving Force of My Independence

Mental Health, mental illness

Therapeutic Pampering

This morning, I pampered myself. I had a weird Friday - it was fine until the evening, during which time I got extremely emotional about something small, and ended up really angry. I journaled about it at the time and will talk about in therapy - maybe here later, when I'm ready. But the lady's… Continue reading Therapeutic Pampering

bucket list, Mental Health, mental illness

Coming Down from Concert Elation

Thursday night I went to the Moon Taxi concert and it was the most fun I've had in a long time. The last time I had that much fun was in Branson with family, riding an enormous ferris wheel and driving go karts for the first time - I was the slowest one and I… Continue reading Coming Down from Concert Elation

bucket list, Mental Health, mental illness

But You Don’t Even Like Basketball

We figured out some finances tonight, because I wanted to know my options for the many events I have planned for the next few months. I explained to J my plan for next Sunday: go see a basketball game. It’s the women's team for the state university in our very city. J said, “But you… Continue reading But You Don’t Even Like Basketball

Mental Health, mental illness

Bucket List Update Week 1

My days have been so good. Things are still hard financially, and work has still been pretty stressful. But I feel like I have this newfound purpose. I am doing new things and planning things for the future that are fun and fulfilling. So when work is hard, I come home and have something else… Continue reading Bucket List Update Week 1